Processed and Processing

                             https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Seed_germination.png


One of my goals in 2019 is to get away from processed foods and start eating a better diet. I turned FIFTY FOUR this year. Now a little over half a century old and the sobering fact of that alone has made me consider some things about my eating habits that should have been considered a long time ago. Even though I have been pescatarian for a while, there are areas of my diet that could stand to be seriously reconsidered for my health now and in the future. I still eat too much processed food and fewer veggies and fruits than I could. The veggies and fruits that I have been eating are standard grocery store fare. This mean that I have no idea how many chemicals I am dousing my insides with since it is never disclosed. This troubles me, as it should.

I have always loved gardening and growing veggies, but it seems since we moved to Kansas over 20 years ago, my gusto evaporated. I love gardens and I LOVE the taste of a homegrown tomato. Lately I have been reading a lot about the chemicals that we are routinely consuming. As a result, I am trying to make some changes to both the way I shop and the food I consume. So this year I am making a big effort to clean up our sadly neglected back yard and put in gardens of both flowers (to encourage and support pollinators) and veggies for eating.

 I have my work cut out for me.

 Our backyard is a neglected mess. But that is my fault. So now I will be spending time correcting that situation. I have ordered seeds from a couple seed catalogs, which is a weakness of mine when it it cold and snowy here in Kansas. My goal is to construct raised hay bale beds for most of the veggies and some regular raised beds for some of the tomatoes and the ground cherries. I am relying on buying only open pollinated or heirloom veggies since I have an issue with the fact a lot of our seeds have  the potential to become narrowed by hybridizing from corporations with big budgets for advertising and the word magicians to make it seem OK to buy seeds that are basically food time bombs that have to be bought over and over again (insuring profit for the company). Hybrid seeds usually are not good candidates for seed saving since they do not come back "true" a second season outside the lab conditions. Heirlooms and open pollinated seeds will come back--hence the fact they have been passed down through generations.

 The way to ensure food diversity is to grow the heirloom and open pollinated seeds that will not come under the control of corporate seeds. So much of what we consume is the result of chemical processes, I want to get away from that in my consumption as much as I can.

Part of my "education" into eating and behaving in a more sustainable manner involves reading the stories of others who have spent their time working through the process of moving processed foods from their lives. I just received a pretty good book in the mail yesterday titled " Unprocessed - My City-Dwelling Year of Reclaiming Real Food" by Megan Kimble. Not sure how I happened to find this book on Amazon, but it sounded intriguing. She is younger, so it is nice to get the perspective of someone who is not the same age as I am. I am only on chapter 1, so I will update as I read along. So far she has a good perspective and I am curious as to how a city dweller without access to a garden space navigates the journey. I am fortunate that I have the ability to grow my own food in a small backyard, so I will also be keeping updates on that journey, especially since it is basically starting from below "scratch" with a depleted and neglected backyard. That journey be the subject of several posts. Along with the goal of providing my home with good organic food, I hope to be able to supplement that table of several family members and friends.

This week I am taking stock of the seed packets I have so far. along with the ones I just ordered, and start actually planning the garden. I have ordered an abundance of tomatoes, peppers and other veggies that I can plant in order to be able to can jams, salsa and sauces for the upcoming year. It is easy to eat a variety of food in the summer and Fall, but in the winter and early Spring, it is a bit more challenging here in Central Kansas. So hopefully I will have several posts that involve canning for the slimmer seasons.

I am also curios to see how eating "whole" influences my weight. That has been an issue for a while. So the focus on real food is an important one. I have tons of vegetarian cookbooks. It is time that I used them.

New Year

2019 has arrived.

 Since we are empty nesters, the New Year crept into our house quietly, except for the firework ringing outside. In our town, we can shoot off fireworks on New Years, so it tends to be a bit noisy.

I am not much of a cold weather person, so the past month has been focused inward and to my home surrounding. We are working on taking off wallpaper that was in the house when we moved in YEARS ago. I have never loved that wallpaper, so the fact that it has taken TWELVE years to finally get that crap off the walls is a bit sad. But I have been focusing on getting the house in order finally and off loading a bunch of physical stuff that leads to a clogged flow in this house. I tend to be a bit of a pack rat, so I have been pretty careful about bringing stuff in. It never leaves if it makes it inside the front door.

Or at least that was the way it has been in the past. I have been pretty good about not shopping online lately. That has always been a huge downfall for me. But I have had to focus on the fact that it has lead to a pretty disorganized and overstuffed home. Now when I find the urge to buy, I ask myself three questions:

1. Can I borrow it? 
Books are a huge love of mine, but I have made myself search the library database lately to see if I can borrow the book either through the local library or inter library loan. If I borrow the book more than a couple time, then I will purchase it because I obviously use it. But for every book I buy. I am trying to instill a "one in, two out" policy. I haven't been doing it very long, so only time will tell. I can tweak it as needed.

2. Will I have to feed it, clean it or maintain it in a way that requires me time than I should dedicate to it? 

This one is pretty simple. I am not going to bring in any more high maintenance things into my house.

3. Is it even something that will last ?

I am making a conscious effort to buy quality items that can last a while and be repaired. I have been surprised at the fact that so little of what I buy can be repaired or has planned obsolescence built into its design. That is a matter of a company making the decision to make cheap and easily used up products instead of using good materials and quality workmanship. Unfortunately, that is also in response to consumer demands. American LOVE their cheap, short lifespan crap that clogs the dumps and is killing us. How much do I want to add to that. This has actually been more of a challenge than I had originally thought it would be. I have to admit that I am prone to look at price first and whether it is well made and repairable last. But I am getting better about that.

4. Is it multiple use--can it serve several functions or several owners? 

I try to find things that I can use in different ways. I also look at thrift stores more often. Most of my REALLY expensive brand name stainless steel cookware has come from thrift stores. I recently got two saucepans WITH LIDS for $3 a piece. I got online to see how much it would cost to buy new-- and they were $80 EACH. Seriously. For $6 and some change for tax, I got $160 saucepans. I love cooking in stainless steel. I have found all kinds of cookware for pennies on the dollar compared to new. Not to mention utensils and other things. It really doesn't make much sense to buy new for me unless it is something I really haven't been able to find. I have been contemplating buying madeline cookie pans lately since I LOVE madelines, but hate paying $3 for a cookie at an eatery. I know they are easy to make. And while there is probably not reason the couldn't be made in a muffin tin, I really like the traditional shell design. Now I am trying to find them and also making sure it is something I will use more than a couple times a year. I am still going back and forth with that discussion in my head, so we shall see. I would love to find the pans at a thrift shop like I found my pasta machine. It was brand new and unused, in the box for $10 instead a $99. On the flip side of that is thinking about whether the construction of an item I am going to purchase will be something I can pass on to a new owner once I am no longer using it.

5. Can I make it? Can I grow it?
 
I know that not everyone will have access to materials or skills to make what they want, but I have been pretty fortunate to have a membership in a makers space that has an active ceramics area and a woodshop. I have been making a lot of bowls, pans, platters, cups etc for my house lately.
 I have also used this skill to donate bowls to charity soup events.

Once the cold is not longer banging on the door outside, I plan to make some garden ornaments and structures for my backyard. I am focusing on getting the overgrown and neglected backyard under control this year too. Growing my own veggies makes more sense lately in light of all the e.coli scares we have had with commercially grown salad greens. It also makes the carbon footprint smaller when I just step outside instead of drive to a store or farmers market. Now If I can only make sure it is dog proof. I have one dog that consistently kills my plants. More on that later.

It is immensely satisfying to eat or drink out of something that has been made by me or another person. I can't wait to actually eat the greens I have grown on a plate made by me or someone I know. I have picked up some seeds for various veggies and flowers at one of the local greenhouses here and I am finding a lot of contentment in settling in for the night with a seed catalogue. I am focusing on growing rare and heirloom veggies so I can save the seeds and share. So many great varieties of fruits, veggies and flowers have fallen out of favor and are on the brink of disappearing, which would be a shame. I am trying beets for the first time also. We will have to see how that works. I am not a big fan of the actual beets, but I did find a beet jam recipe that looks promising and I heard they are great pickled. That said, I LOVE LOVE LOVE beet greens. They are hard to find, so I will grow my own. Tomatoes, carrots, squash and watermelon seeds are also sitting in my seed box, so I only have a few other seeds to buy and all there is to do is start fencing off areas from the dogs and get the raised beds built. Unfortunately, stooping over to garden is something I just cannot do, so raised beds will be the only option. A good compost pile will also be built. Still figuring that out.

I am trying to lesson my consumerism impact and my carbon footprint in 2019. I have been focusing on getting the bridgework started, so now I am trying to implement my plans to simplify and condense in order to be able to really focus on the gratitude of my blessings.

Thanks for stopping by and spending a little of your time reading my blog. I would love to hear what you are planning in your life for 2019.

The Act of Creation and the Blocks We Create

Dancers 
watercolor and graphite
copyright Rhonda Davis

I have been thinking a lot about creation. Specifically how I have been a bit blocked the past year as far as my normal output or even showing up at the sketchbook to carve out ideas for new work. I seem to get sidetracked a lot. That is a sure sign that I am blocked and looking for things to numb the anxiety of not being at the page. 

I have noticed that I am not alone. 

I started seeing it a lot in the bloggers that I follow such as Cait Flanders, whose blog I followed because of her amazing content. At some point, she decided that the act of blogging and the act of "being out there" was taking a toll on her ability to "be here". I was sad when she announced she was only going to do an email list and retire from blogging, but I applaud her ability to see what is not working for her and changing it. It is going against the grain of "influencers" that are putting themselves out there even when what they are putting out isn't the real thing. I prize someone who is able to be authentic. I know an artist that constantly tweets, posts on facebook and instagram in a manner that is truly not what is real. It is like watching a used car salesman in the worst way. And the fact is that this person acknowledges that what they put out is what they want "their fans" to think, not what is actually happening. I had to back away from this person as have a lot of others who have wearied of this person. 

So the question becomes: At one point do you realize things are not going as they should and how do you remedy that?

For me, at least temporarily, it means that I am really going to be intentional about how I allow social media into my life. My massage therapist told me of an app that is available automatically on Apple phones with the new updates called "Screen Time". I installed it yesterday and have not been pleased with what I am seeing. The mindless scrolling and playing on Facebook to fill the time is too much. So I am trying to use it for 15 minutes at the beginning of the day and for 15 minutes at the end. I have noticed that Facebook leaves me tense and stressed lately, so this is my response. I need to spend that stolen and mindless activity time drawing and learning to get past the need to produce "successful" drawings every time. I saw an article on deliberately striving to make bad work and it was illuminating. 

To make work that you KNOW is not going to be perfect or immediately marketable is something that I recognize as outside my normal mode of operation. So this is why I am going to devote time each day to something that is deliberately not "successful". I have blocked myself creatively lately and I want to see if this will move me past that. In a way, this blog is one of my projects that I am doing not for perfection, but just to DO. Worrying whether anyone will read this or even caring if anyone does is something that I have thought about. I am OK with just putting these posts of random thoughts out in the world with no feedback. Part of the magic is just getting it out of my head and into the open. 

Sometimes it is the process, not the product , that is the most important thing. 

And that is fine with me. 

As the season progresses and it gets colder, I am trying to find a balance between what I am having to maneuver around in my house and what I release aka get rid of. I have a bad tendency to look at things in a far more hopeful manner than is practical, so my goal this Fall/Winter is to whittle things to what I really love.

This is proving to be a challenge.

Even with the advice of professional organizers on letting go, I attach sentimental meaning to far too many things, as if they have feelings and will feel rejected. Not sure where that comes from, but I am sure it is a product of me imagination. I've got to get over that.

So the goal this season is to take 3 things out in the category that comes in. If one book comes in, three go out. Mugs, baking dishes...same theory. Have you ever done this? I come from a family of  "savers", which is proving to be deeply rooted in my habits. So here I am at over 50 years old, contemplating the crap I am going to be burdening my kids with when I pass along and it is not something I want to heave on them.

There is a book that addresses this. It is called something along the lines of Swedish death cleaning, where you get rid of crap with the goal of not burdening your loved ones when you do finally leave this earth. I was tempted to buy the book on Amazon --then I realized that is the exact action that has given me the excessive book collection I currently have. So I will try to borrow it from the library or go through inter-library loan this month. The weather is getting colder, so it is a good time to take in inspiration on purging.

Any plans for the winter season? Are there things you want to work on? Drop me a comment. I'd love to hear your ideas!

Slow Going

Fall is a time when I am reminded to take stock of what I have accomplished and what I haven't accomplished over the past months since the beginning of the year. I have struggled with getting motivated to finish the tasks on my TO DO list lately. The lower light and cooler temperatures are a bit of a damper for some of us-- me included. But I did go to the Finger Lake region of New York recently and that has provided some inspiration for several things.

One of the things that I keep saying I want to do since the kids are grown is travel more. But I find myself making excuses when it actually comes down to it. I had an opportunity to accompany my husband to Syracuse, NY on a business trip last year and I passed at the last minute. This time, I went.

I loved it.

I was able to hang out with friends of ours that had moved from Kansas to Geneva, New York and they were gracious and absolutely amazing ambassadors for their new home area. I left New York with a thought that I could easily see us living there if only there were jobs in my husband's industry. One of the things that I am stoked about is going back in May for the Finger Lakes Pottery trail. I bought a really cool coffee scoop from an artists collective when we were in Ithaca (I love Ithaca!!!) and noticed there are a lot of potters in the area that participate in the pottery tour. I am going back for a longer period in May so that I can engage and explore more of the area. The waterfalls and the trails are amazing there. I fell in love with the downtown areas of several places and we went to the Corning Glass Museum, which we both agreed we will come back again and spend at least two days there. I didn't really explore Syracuse too much since we had a busy agenda, but that is on the plans for the next time. It was really a great time. And it made me really think "What is keeping me from traveling more?!". The kids are grown and I can board the dogs if my husband is traveling with me. Or we can take them with us if we can find a place that accommodates four legged friends. It is all in the perspective. I sometimes hold myself back. Time to get over that. I want to take the train next time. Or drive part of the way so that I can load up the car with pottery. LOL. It was probably a good thing we were limited since we were flying.

The visit to the artist collective in Ithaca really gave me a much needed boost in creative fire. I haven't done too well at getting art completed and shows applied to since last year. I am in a fallow period, which is ok, but it is time to get fired up again. I have several drawings in various stages of completion and I am working on taking some of my work into three dimensional form--possibly in ceramic. Lately I have spent a fair amount of time throwing bowls for the local Empty Bowls event and a couple other things. Throwing on the wheel is pretty relaxing. I have a membership to a maker space here in town and there is a great ceramics area that is available to members 24/7. Going in during the early morning hours when there is absolutely nobody in the room--or in the whole makers space sometimes-- is a very calming ritual. That said, I am getting to the point where I am amassing a fair amount of bowls and other pottery, so it is time to start figuring out what to do with it. I am perfecting the bowls and then moving on to other forms in the coming weeks. I will probably do some of my drawing on ceramics, but getting the forms down is a priority. I feel like I am hopefully coming out of my hibernation creatively, which is good. There is nothing fun about being blocked creatively.

Counting Chickens Before They Hatch

Well, I did it.

I pissed off the Kiln Gods.

I was on track to meet my goal of donating 2 dozen bowls for the Empty Bowls Project here in town and I made an offhand joke about the kiln gods either being angels or assholes in response to the fact I was going to have to refire 9 bowls because the glaze pinholed.

And then the load with my bowls in it had a kiln failure.

Not just a kiln failure, but a complete "melt the socket and plug at the wall" failure. This is at the makers space that I am a member of, so it also affected several other people with work destined for other purposes as well as the Empty Bowls event. It figures. But then it is never a given that the kiln gods will cooperate as you plan, so it is what it is. I have a dozen bowls that are made and while I am hoping that I can reach my 2 dozen goal, I will have to be satisfied that I at least got a dozen bowls done. That means that when things actually do turn out, I will have a lot of extra bowls. Everyone in my family is going to get several bowls for Christmas. But that is not a bad thing. I am going to continue to make bowls in the upcoming weeks so that I can keep working towards bigger bowls, which has been a struggle for me. Pulling forms taller than 12" is something I need to work on.

On the "self care" front, I have decided that over the next couple weeks I am going to spend a heck of a lot less time with toxic things such as Facebook, and a lot more time painting, writing and exploring both the outside world and the inside world. I am going to Syracuse in a bit so that I can finally start acting on my desire to travel. An opportunity came up for me to go on a trip with my husband and while I usually stay home to "hold down the fort", this time I decided that the fort can manage itself. I have made excuses that subconsciously have been an attempt at "comfort". I have realized that getting out of my comfort zone is something that does not happen as often as it should. So I am going to Syracuse.

I am also taking along books on writing haiku and poetry. I have always loved haiku but have gotten away from it since my kids were born. I think it is time to get back. I start every morning with writing my three pages of morning pages, so adding a haiku writing time would not be too much trouble. Do you have a writing practice? I always hesitate to say "writing practice" because I feel it puts it at a level that is lofty and precious. Writing practices should be neither. They should be awkward, honest, painful at times and without expectations and rules. But the vulnerability is frightening too. So for many years I have put it aside. At this stage in my life I am trying to connect more with my inside world than my outside world, so writing is as important as any other form of expression.

And so it is. What is expected is not always what is going to happen. That might be the most important thing to remember.

Pottery As Meditation And Engagement

I have been throwing a lot of bowls on the pottery wheel as a method of meditation and engagement lately.

After an on/off again relationship with the craft, it seems to me that the fact I keep coming back to it over a 30 year period is something I need to listen to. I tend to be bad at listening to signals the universe throws at me until they hit me square in the forehead.

I can't claim to be proficient or professional in the medium, but there is something about it that keeps bringing me back. The kids are grown and on their own, so I have the time to explore and spend more time getting it figured out. Lately clay is allowing me to find a way to contribute and give back to community causes in a very real way through our local Empty Bowls event.

Empty Bowls is a grassroots worldwide initiative that addresses hunger worldwide by focusing locally. Wichita has had a version of that for a couple years now. It is a very popular event where the community can come make bowls--even if they have never made anything in clay before--and those bowls are then sold on the event day. Potters also contribute bowls. You can buy a bowl at the event and it is filled with soup. You get a bowl, a full belly and the good feeling that you helped give to the food bank here in town. A win win situation.  I have wanted to contribute for quite some time and this year I decided to learn to throw a bowl on the wheel and pledged 2 dozen bowls for the event. It has been great practice throwing bowls! I have really enjoyed myself. Here are a couple bowls I made that are destined for the event.

I am a member of a makers space here in Wichita called MakeICT and they have a ceramics room with wheels and a kiln. All I have to do is buy clay. If  I want to use glazes different from the ones they have, then I purchase and use those. I recently attended a 3 day workshop by John Britt that taught glaze making for mid fire clays and I am looking forward to making my own glazes in the upcoming months. We currently only have three wheels--one that I actually like to use--so it can be a challenge to throw during busy times. I have discovered that I am fortunate that during the day when everyone else is at work, the ceramics room is all mine (most of the time). This has been an amazing time to just sit quietly and focus on the act of throwing the clay. It is an amazing way to just slow down, focus and "be".

Throwing requires being aware of the movement of the clay, the movement of your body and the actions of the wheel. It is frustrating at first, but once you learn how to center the clay, it becomes an exercise in creative choices. I love this.

Throwing on the wheel and making functional pottery has also helped me think about our throw away culture and how our conveniences are wrecking the environment. I have been trying to eat at places that actually serve on real plates, use real glasses and silverware and I have to admit it hasn't been a success all the time. It is surprising to see how accustomed I have been to eating at places that enable consumers to generate a lot of waste and plastic. I am trying to be more mindful of it and I am choosing to prepare and consume more meals at home and focus on reducing plastic when I buy things. That is a bit of a slow process for me, unfortunately. I am FOREVER forgetting my reusable bags at home when I go grocery shopping! So my goal is to REMEMBER. I don't know if it is possible to have zero impact because everything exerts a cost on the environment, but I am working on doing the little things that have impact both for the environment and my community. Pottery has helped me work towards this. It has also provided a form of relaxation and thoughtfulness.

I am thankful for the opportunities to create and contribute.

What Matters: An experiment.

Social media has become pretty toxic the past couple years--especially since the election. Not only has it been a platform for bullies and bullshit, but it has also come to light that companies like Facebook have sold our personal data to the highest bidder. That is both scary and irritating. 

As a result, I have been trying to engage with social media in a more deliberate manner. I have also been trying to become aware of when I am being manipulated so that I can shut it off. The fact that what I look at on Amazon pops up on Facebook is also alarming. That shows that data is being shared for profit. I am a number. But the idea for blogging is a bit easier to engage with, even though it is supposedly no longer as popular as it once was. Oh well, I never followed fads anyway. This is for me. 

In the upcoming week, my goal is to do more FACE TIME with REAL PEOPLE. Actual face time. I am slowly moving from Facebook to Instagram, which is owned by Facebook but appears to be less saturated with bull at this time. That could easily change as people move away from Facebook. I am a visual person, so Instagram is a bit more fitting. But I am limiting my time on it as well in favor of reading and getting back to some creative activities like pottery.

With the kids grown and on their own, I have been trying to figure out exactly what to do with my time, and it has come back around to pottery. I started working with pottery or some form of ceramics when I was a teenager and it seems that I put it down and then circle back to it again. This time I found a makers space with a wheel and kiln and I have spent afternoons making bowls for Empty Bowls, a worldwide charity. Our local one benefits the food bank here in town. I committed to 2 dozen bowls and as of right now, I am three shy of getting my goal. By the time the event rolls around, I will have my 2 dozen completed. There is something about the wheel that has captured my attention. I am still working on perfecting my throwing, but it has been fun to see how far I have come. My eventual goal is to have a wheel at home. I was given two small kilns recently and eventually I want to have a studio either close to home or in the garage. I am trying to visualize it and manifest it in any way possible. 

I was going to title this post "Things That I Am Avoiding", but that sounds pretty negative. Instead I am taking some time to figure out what is going on in my life and how I can spend my time in a more meaningful way. What matters? That has been my big question for myself. And the scary part is that most of the time, I don't have a definite answer. I figured by the time I got to 53, I would know something about which direction I should take. I don't. I have found that I have so many interests and I dabble in so much that I have not perfected one particular thing except my drawings. Now I am trying to figure out "Who am I" now that my kids are grown and I have time. That "time" always seemed so far in the future. Now it is here and I am a bit adrift. 

I have an upcoming trip to Syracuse, New York planned and I am pretty excited that I actually took the initiative and said I wanted to go instead of staying around Wichita. Traveling is something I have always wanted to do and now I have no engagements that require my presence here in town, so I am going to be more open to travel. Has anyone been to Syracuse? I have never been to that part of the United States and I am looking forward to it. It will be a sightseeing trip for me, a business trip for my husband. I have been looking at the museums and things to do there. The flying part is not my favorite, but it will be good to get there quickly and start exploring. I have a friend that moved to the area, so she is going to show me around at least one of the days. I am searching out pottery studios and art galleries in the area also. And bookstores. I always hit at least one bookstore while I am anywhere. That said, the thrift stores have been an excellent source for books that are already on my Amazon wish list. I have been surprised. The hotel we are in has a fireplace in the room, so nights will be spent reading in front of the fireplace. That is exciting to me! I want a fireplace in our house! 

Fall is supposedly here and I have had a restless 2018. I am looking ahead to making opportunities and making art for the remainder of the year. What are your plans? 

Slow mornings

copyright Rhonda Davis

I have a billion things to do today and zero motivation, so I figured I would take advantage of the day to hang out at home and make a dent in some "me" time. It has rained pretty consistently the past week or two, so maybe that is contributing to my tiredness. I do love the rain though. Yesterday I was at the library when it started to get grey and rainy, so I took my book pile over to the large windows that are an amazing feature of our new downtown library and read while it rained. Pretty satisfying. I realized that I have the luxury of being able to do this more often and I don't take advantage of it as much as I should. That will change.

I have been working pretty hard to throw at least 24 bowls on the pottery wheel for the upcoming "Empty Bowls" fundraiser here in Wichita and I am at a point where 9 bowls are drying and I have hogged all the space on the drying racks that I can without feeling guilty, so now I am waiting. I will be 12 bowls short of my goal to contribute 2 dozen this year, but I am going to throw 6 a day for the next two days so I can hit my mark before it is time to present them to the event. Our makerspace potters are contributing bowls as a group, so this will be a fun thing to do.

It has also been good practice and an exercise in realizing that I am not cut out to be a production potter. Throwing 12 (3-4pound) balls of clay completely wipes me out. After 10, I am prone to having silly accidents that usually end up wiping out at least 2 of the 12, so my new "normal" is going to be 6 at a time. Definitely a do-able goal and it ends up letting me throw more consistent bowls of better quality. But as any potter knows, it is not a bowl until it is sitting on the table, finished. So much can go wrong between the first bisque firing and the last glaze fire that it is unwise to count your chickens before they hatch. The Kiln God is a persnickity little jerk sometimes and it is always a crapshoot as to how the final piece will turn out. I have to admit, there is something magical about the process and it is extremely satisfying to eat out of something that you made from a ball of clay. I think that connection to the process is one of the things we are missing in America. We are such "end use consumers" that we have lost track of HOW things are made and WHO makes them. I don't forsee us going back to a completely handmade culture and there are times I like the convenience, but there is something to be said for handmade. This includes simple actions like writing, drawing and cooking. These things helps us connect to ourselves in basic ways that mass produced items just cannot.

The Art of Baking as a Retreat from Life

Lately, the world, the United States specifically, is in chaos. People cannot seem to just figure out how to embrace the differences and get along or are trying to blame others for things they have not participated in. If some people didn't get their way in the election, then they are bound and determined to bring the whole nation down as an attempt to throw a tantrum to get their way. The funny thing is that while people want to protest in huge numbers, once they leave that little event, they do nothing to go about making their corner of the world a better place.

 THAT is where the change starts. In your own little corner of the world. And then it grows outward from there. How? Volunteer at a soup kitchen or a food distribution point. Take a meal to an elderly shut in. Smile at people on the street, no matter how different they are from you. Trust me, they are more like you than you can imagine.

At this point, the mental exhaustion of watching the childish posts and games on both social and mainstream media has me a bit exhausted and not feeling very optimistic for the future. Although I know humans have always had periods of unrest (thinking the 60's in the United States), I feel a need to disconnect and turn homeward to nurse my mental fatigue from the world. My method of release is baking. So, in the upcoming weeks and months, I will be highlighting some of my favorite soup and bread recipes. I will be sharing stories of makers. I will be sharing stories of connections.

I hope you enjoy the upcoming posts. Remember that positive change happens with you, not politicians or the media. Make connections, ask questions, start positive conversations.

Slow Going

I have been a bit slow about posting here and I was feeling guilty as heck. But lately I have decided to do away with the guilt and just post as much as I can and when I can. I think the pressure to perform sucked out the fun and adventure, which is the reason I had decided to start blogging again. I am looking for my voice, so I have to acknowledge it is going to take a bit of bumping around for a bit.

So bear with me.

When blogging first burst onto the scene several SEVERAL years ago, I had two blogs going and posted almost daily. Then the kids graduated, I went back to school for my BFA (Bachelor's of Fine Art), graduated and now I am working from my studio trying to find my footing as an older artist. There is so much art already in the world, how does one find their "voice". But then, how does one find their "voice" in a world that is crowded with so many other voices trying to compete for air? It is a question I have been thinking about a lot lately. Especially in light of the bizarre mean spirited gangs that pop up on social media when a person does not fall into line with the views of a certain group of people.

 I have been sad at the erosion of freedom that has occurred and the group think that has started to define social media. While I find Facebook and Instagram a great source of articles, I have noticed a general mean spirited element that has soaked the platforms. Not as bad with Instagram since it is visual based and I can easily unfollow people that start spouting their rhetoric of hate or meanness, but definitely on Facebook.

This gang mentality that is entering Facebook and Twitter, which I easily deleted, made me take a long look at the way I allow Facebook to use me. Let's be real. Facebook is a platform for advertising and mining data for profit. It has been for a long time. Has it been a fun way to keep up with people?

Yes.

 But lately it seems to be a more invasive form of mindless entertainment and stress. I watched an excellent TED talk last night and several more that talk about social media and how it has changed us in ways we may not like. The first one is about how we are "connected" but more alone than ever. I highly recommend the books by this speaker in addition to listening to her talks. Yes, I just said BOOKS!  That is another thing that I have been focusing on lately.

And this speaker

And then there is this guy talking about why our screens make us less happy:

There are hundred of other videos that talk about the cost analysis of not using social media carefully. I used to love Facebook for the "connection", but after the election, the tune changed. People became bullies and even tried to initiate campaigns to ruin the lives of others that did not fit in the little boxes. This is insane. Hidden behind the safety of their screens, I have seen people make horrifically mean comments to others that I KNOW they would NOT say if they were actually facing that person. And it has caused me to really examine how I chose to spend my time. Cyber bullying has lead to suicides, with the bullies safely smug in the outcome and their belief that they were not the cause. They were and they still are. All of this concerns me for the future, so I will take back my share of Facebook's profit in my usage and assert control over how I use it and how much life it sucks from me. Because in reality, the time we give social media is time from our life clock. This is an excellent talk that made me think a little more about what all this has taken from me:

So I am making choices.

I have been making a conscious effort to limit my time spent on Facebook in particular. It hasn't been easy. The truth is that I have become addicted to the hits and bolts of  hormone rush that one gets with any crutch. It is a weird thing to realize that this has been carefully orchestrated by Facebook in order to gain time.

My time.

I am taking that back with writing, drawing, planting green things, spending time with my dogs and family, going outside and walking and taking time to learn new things, such as refreshing my skill at throwing actual pots, cups and other items on a pottery wheel. Also daydreaming, sketching, journaling, cooking from scratch, trying new recipes, reading books. REAL books. 

The tactile sensation of holding a book in your hand is something that I have always been in tune with, but when I was in college, I noticed that people just do not read the way I used to when I was younger. It is my understanding that this worrisome trend is slowly being reversed. but it does seem like the lure of video and electronic books was a rage for way too long. I understand the convenience of electronic books of you don't want all those physical things hanging around, but there is just no substitute for being able to sit down and feel the paper as you turn a page.

So I want to end this post by thanking you for spending your time reading my thoughts. I appreciate it. This blog is my space to interact and think things out. I would love to hear your thought.

Resolutions and Realities

Copyright Rhonda Davis

One of the things I struggle with lately is keeping my blog updated with content. Right now, part of that is because I am trying to figure out what I want to focus on. I am an empty nest Mom, so writing about trying to gain a sense of purpose after the kids are out and on their own is a possibility. I am also interested in getting finances under control. so there is another possibility. Another avenue is the fact that I am interested in traveling and exploring both here in Kansas and elsewhere. Another possible slant on topics. Picking a target is a bit of a challenge right now, so I think I have decided that I will take a couple months and just post it all. All the adventures and misadventures. I think trying to find my own voice is a struggle that a lot of us face.

 After having the title of "Mom" for so long, the title is the same, but the job description has changed. I am proud of the progress my 3 boys are making for themselves but I am also having to realize that sometimes my advice and opinion is not what they need as they figure out their path. I think stepping back is a challenge. I am trying to remind myself that I need to step back from the kids that I raised and get to know the adults they are becoming. My husband is so much better at letting them fly the nest. I am working on that.

Getting to know myself is another thing I am working on. Now that the "Mom" title has been modified, who am I working on. I know I love art, that was the degree I finally finished 2 years ago, but what else? One of the things I am passionate about in my work is communicating the ties that bind us to each other and the world. We tend to forget that as the natural world is plundered, we are plundering our future. This is something that I was able to really think about when I was at an artist's residency in Washington state. That residency was a turning point in my thinking and my work. I am currently working on a series about "connections". The connections with others and the environment. The connection between situations and between appearances. Things are not always black and white, no matter how much we think they are. I am interested in doing more traveling, talking and observing in order to make work about our connections and disconnections.

Life is interesting in every phase.

No Spend Days...the redo

copyright Rhonda Davis 2017

                                                      



A couple months ago I decided to try to have a month of "no spend days". These are days where I don't buy anything that is absolutely not needed except things such as gas and food to be cooked at home. I got the idea from Cait Flanders and her "No Spend Year", which I knew was a bit too long for me, so I started with baby steps. Her blog is amazing and the resources she shares are definitely helpful--go check her out at https://caitflanders.com/

So how did I do on the baby step month?

Pretty badly. But at the same time, it was a success.

While the initial No Spend Month was a pretty dismal failure, the pangs of guilt when I spent allowed me to observe myself and my motivations. There have been successes, such as finally making time to go to the library to borrow some of the books that are hanging in my Amazon shopping cart and actually reasoning with myself MOST of the time that I have food at home instead of eating out. But there have been a lot of Amazon misadventures, grocery store overbuying when the pantry is perfectly full, eating food that I know is not nutritious and other little things that have eaten into the budget when they could have added to the savings account. But again, I have sat and observed these slip ups and this time decided to track my motivation or the situation that allowed the spending to happen. Not packing lunches, being bored and using retail therapy (even if it is at a thrift shop), and generally not keeping my goals of spending an extended time in the desert making art next year in the front of my mind.

There have been little things I am doing that are a bit expensive from the initial glance, but have actually saved me a bit of cash in the long run. One of these is subscribing to a meal delivery service, Hello Fresh. It is a bit pricey-- almost $60 for 3 meals for 2 people, but I found that I was getting immensely bored with cooking and as a result would overspend on processed foods. I am a vegetarian and the amount of easy to bake faux chicken patties was becoming something that I could not ignore. Quorn chick un patties are still pretty damn good in a pinch, but not as often as I was falling back on them because I was uninspired.

 Yes, I have cookbooks, but at that time I also overspent quite a bit when I went grocery shopping. So the solution was to subscribe to Hello Fresh as a temporary thing, have hubby do the bulk of the grocery shopping and then I would stick to cooking the three meals during the week and see if it helped my boredom and the budget. Surprisingly, it helped both. Immensely. And I continue getting the meal service since it has really taught me a lot of new techniques that I use when I repeat the recipes with my own ingredients. One of the new techniques I learned was how to make risotto.

I love risotto but had never made it on my own until I tried a mushroom risotto that Hello Fresh sent. After trying the recipe and loving it, I decided to make it again with ingredients that I bought (they send the ingredients to prepare theirs with each meal so not shopping at that time). Finding aborio rice here proved to be a little more of a challenge than I anticipated, so I spent a little more on it than I had anticipated (around $5 for a little less than a pound), so I will be on the lookout for it next time I go to Kansas City. The thing about risotto is that it takes time. You just don't put it on the stove and walk away. You have to slooooooooow down and stir the vegetable (or chicken if you are a meat eater) broth into the rice, which activates the starches and makes the dish creamy. It is the ultimate easy comfort food and the ultimate "make you slow down" technique. I am extremely pleased with learning this in an easy step by step manner that they provide. I always order risotto at restaurants and people make a bid deal over how hard it is to prepare. It really isn't. It just requires that you give it your attention and take the time to not rush it. In a way, it is a good way to discover your attention span limits. lol. But it is immensely satisfying to sit down with a warm creamy dish of it when you need comfort food. This is but one example of a lot of techniques that I have learned and it has boosted me out of the rut I was in. So this is an example of how sometimes spending a little more can help in the long run. I realized that I tend to overspend when I am bored or just need a quick "high" that buying tends to give. More cooking at home, less coffee out--a LOT LESS-- and baking treats at home have been my baby steps.

So right now, I am focusing on my goal of getting to Joshua Tree in the Spring to paint and produce work for a show. Maybe keeping my credit cards wrapped in a photo of the Joshua Trees that I took on my last trip out will provide the boost in motivation.

Creativity

 Copyright Rhonda Davis

In 2015, I received my B.F.A (Bachelor of Fine Art).

Finally!

 I waited until my kids were on their own until I went back to school full time. It was odd being the age of most students' parents and there were some funny things that the students assumed such as I was a professor --because of course I had the grey hair and age on my side. But it was also a good thing. So now I am working on figuring out which end is up and getting a body of work together to enter shows. There is a safe security to being in school. Once you get out, finding the routine and habits that will assist your goals are a bit hard to find initially. I used to think I needed a lot of people around to produce, but lately I am finding that I really enjoy time alone to just think.

My studio space is in El Dorado in an older building downtown. Nothing fancy, but I enjoy it immensely when I am there. I am in the process of re-establishing a working schedule for the studio after a long period away. The drive is almost 45 minutes to get there from my house, but it helps put me in the mindset of when I am there, I am working.

 I also discovered that I am really bad at working from home. Mainly because of all the distractions (needy cat and dogs, phone etc) and the interruptions (cat and dogs), so I am trying to find a balance. That said, I am hoping to eventually find something closer than a 45 minute drive so I am not using so much gas.

We shall see. This will be the season of finding a routine and a way to work that fits my life.

Another thing I have been trying to do is keep a daily sketchbook. It has been a pretty mixed pot of hit and miss, but starting in September I will be posting daily drawings to my instagram account (rglazapple) so I have some sort of accountability. This blog is also my foray into written creativity. It has been a bit bumpy finding my voice and finding a format that conveys what I want to say, but it is like drawing; the more you do it, the better you become.

How to you express your creativity?

No Spend Days

One of the things I have been focusing on in my attempt to simplify are my spending habits. It is too easy to get on Amazon and click-click-click away money that can be better served elsewhere. I have decided that I am going overseas in 2019, but in order to do that, spending has to be curtailed significantly. The little things here and there quickly eat away at any potential savings, so I have started focusing on having "no spending days". 

At first I had one day a week, now I am trying no spend weeks, which last from Sunday to Friday. The exception to the "no spending" is gas for the car and food for the animals. If we run out of something important, like milk--then that is another exception. So far it has worked pretty well. There have been a couple slip ups but overall I am learning to use it up and make do. I got this idea from reading Cait Flanders (https://caitflanders.com/)  blog. Take a peek at her blog and peruse through the articles. It is something I do regularly and I am constantly finding things to think about on her site. 

Getting used to not pulling out the card and just buying something has been a bit of an adjustment. It has also been eye opening. I have frittered away a lot of money in small amounts. But the goal of going somewhere grand has made it a bit easier to stick to the plan for the most part. 

It is also helping me not add clutter to my life, which is something I will talk about more in depth in the upcoming posts. 

What have you been doing with goals and budgets? Any tips or techniques to share? 

Things That Matter

copyright Rhonda Davis 

One of the things about getting older is that I am finally getting some insight--if even a little--on what I needed to know but was too busy to hear when I was younger.

Lately it has come through loud and clear to me that attaching meaning and feelings to objects is not always the best thing to do. Not sure if this is just a Southern thing, but quite early on, I fell into the habit of saving things from the past and attaching personal narratives and meaning to these things. As a result, over the years I have lugged WAY too much around in my physical home and my mental home. The amount of clutter has reached a point where I have recognized there is a problem. Why do I have problems attaching meaning and feelings to inanimate objects? This is something I have had to really force myself to think about. I think the generation today is less likely to view a "family heirloom" with the amount of sentimental attachment as past generations. I wish I had grown up with that attitude!

Things are just things. 

This is what I am trying to remember as I divest myself of the pack rat habit of thinking that these things have meaning beyond their purpose. Don't get me wrong, there are objects that I won't part with for sentimental reasons, but I also have collected a large amount of objects that need to be purged so that I can claim back visual and mental space. This is where I have been trying to read more on minimalism and figuring out the best way it can assist me in this endeavor.

I have been looking at a lot of blogs written by people who are embracing minimalism or restrictive consumption and it has been eye opening. I come from a family of "I might need that later" people. So now I am trying to break that at the ripe age of 52. What the hell has taken so long? OR maybe it is the fact that I am realizing that things tie us down and keep us tethered.

Are you a sentimental saver or is it easy for you to have a minimum amount of possessions?

Over the next couple weeks, I am doing a big purge and will be posting thoughts here. Share with me your ideas. inspirations and struggles.

Things That Matter, Things That Don't.

Copyright Rhonda Davis

The news in America is so full of sensationalism and false truth for the sake of getting attention that I have had to really filter out most of it. Actually more than most of it. Why? Because it is clear that American news is no longer reporting facts. Instead it is spinning facts into a web that may not even turn out to be anything remotely related to the truth once they chew it over and regurgitate it to the public.

Count me out.

If you look at America today, it is deeply polarized and everything is horrible and the world is going to end...if you believe the spin doctors.

I don't.

There is more good than bad in the world. And we really do NOT have to listen to the gossip machine to live as a good person in the world. All it takes is turning off the noise, deciding where you can be of use in your community and getting out there to meet people who may be very different than you. You don't even have to engage in political talk--it is actually much better if you do not. Talk about the weather. Talk about the sky. Talk about kids--yours or theirs--or grandkids or no kids. Talk about the place you live, your gardens, your homes, your neighborhoods. Talk about coffe. Talk about art. Talk about fishing or not fishing. Talk about  anything.

Just talk.

And listen. Really listen. Not to sway or bolster your views, but to learn what the other person feels.

Because it is in talking face to face that we combat the horrible chasm that the news is creating in America. By talking and even just being out there, we discover there is a lot more good to be had in the world than there is bad.

And we discover that for all of the supposed facts the media is spewing, they know nothing.
We have the power to see and be the good, even in the face of the gossip machine.

Tune it out, ignore it. Trust me, you won't miss it and you will be much richer and more at peace because of the absence of their noise.

The "B" word.

Budget.

Yes, the word that brings about visions of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for every meal from here to eternity.

 Lately I have been reading a lot of bloggers that are discussing their struggles and triumph with spending and making a budget. One video that particularly caught my eye was from the vlog "Break the Twitch". Take a look at this one:

One of the things he said that really resonated with me was the part about actually looking at his Amazon.com purchases and realizing that the trips and actual life experiences he was always saying he wanted but couldn't afford, were right there in all those purchases. I took a look at my purchases on Amazon and realized the ugly truth. Having the ability to just mindlessly hit "add to cart", which lead to the "buy now" or even the "buy with one click" has been hitting my wallet pretty damn hard. I want to spend a month in Joshua Tree in 2018 and this one impulse spot has been completely eating my dream, one purchase at a time.

After looking at the reality of just the first 4 months of 2017, I have decided that I will buckle down and be really engaged with my spending. Will impulse purchases happen? Probably. I liken it to dieting. There will be lapses, but the focus for me is to retrain myself. I am not completely sure where I saw this suggestion, but every time I am tempted to hit the BUY NOW button. I will instead put that item on my wish list and then transfer the amount from my checking to my savings account. I am tagging those deposits as "Money not spent on Amazon". At the end of the summer, I will add up how much I almost spent but saved instead and post it here. I will do that with other thwarted impulse purchases and label them accordingly.

In the meantime, check out "Break the Twitch" on YouTube. Lots of great information. Another blogger I love is Cait Flanders . She is actually one of the most influential bloggers that prompted me to take time to examine the money and time I am spending on stuff that really is just fluff. Wander through her web page. She has something for everyone who is looking to take control of their lives and live more intentionally.

There are a lot of mindless things we do that are aimed at pulling our attention from what is in OUR best interest. I am attempting to rescue myself from these negative influences and find a balance. It is increasingly hard in this world where digital is God and everyone is afraid to "miss out" if they do not have their electronic I.V hanging from their hand. I have been attempting to cut that cord and have really noticed "the twitch".

It is interesting that we have become a culture that is so disconnected to each other the more connected we get with "connecting" through our devices. It is robbing us of the ability to form bonds and empathy through actual physical interaction. This is dangerous. We become aware that we can spout off misinformation that is potentially harmful to someone else and then just turn our device off without seeing the pain we have caused. This is dangerous.

 I have cleaned my Facebook feed of people who do this and now I only see a very limited amount of information.I deleted my old Twitter account since it is the worst of the worst for hate and misinformation in short bites. I am primarily focusing on Instagram, which seems to at least have to visual stimulation (keeping in mind that I am only seeing glimpses of the story, not the full life).  Am I missing out? Maybe. Maybe not.

One thing I have noticed is that the outrages and "solidarity" calls come and go so quickly that it keeps drama addicts in a constantly indignant state of anger. Can this even be good for the body? No. Not at all. One huge thing I have noticed is that since I have purged people who constantly get angry about every little thing from my life, both digitally and physically, I have been able to focus more. At one point, I was having multiple panic attacks daily. After removing myself from several people and places that seemed to be where I experienced these episodes, my panic attacks have been nonexistent over the past 6 months. That alone is enough to make me continue to walk away.

I hope your Monday is beautiful.

Flint Hills copyright Rhonda Davis

Just Noise

copyright Rhonda Davis

Ever think about how you sometimes sit down at the computer or pop into your smartphone with the intention of just "checking in" for a few minutes and before you know it, an hour or more has passed with just mindless scrolling? Or worse yet, you pop into Facebook to catch up on everyone and end up stressed, angry and irritated? I have been increasingly sensitive to the fact that the emotional buttons getting pressed in my world lately are not particularly positive. Sure, there are cute dog and kid pics/videos being shared, along with some genuinely interesting information, but lately it seems as though Facebook is getting meaner.

Because of this, I have decided it is time to scale back or cut out the people and things that constantly trigger my negative moods. These tend to fall into a couple categories:

The constant whiner/complainer

Everyone has really shitty days when they just cannot deal with it. Facebook is great for venting and getting moral support in these cases. However, if someone whines or complains for 10 out of 20 posts, I start getting weary. I have noticed that just like physically being around someone who complains is the same as being around someone like that online. It drags me down. One of the things I have done is track the posts of people who are like Eyor in Winnie the Pooh. I get it, life is rough, and your life is the roughest. But if you constantly complain or whine, I have to unfollow you for my own peace of mind.

We become like the people we spend the most time with. This includes online.

I have discovered that it is easier to unfollow than it is to unfriend. People freak out when you unfriend them. There are a couple people who have exhibited behavior that irritates me enough that I am not feeling guilty about hitting the "unfriend" button, but those are rare cases. Sorry, not sorry. My need for peace is greater than letting someone constantly grate on my nerves.

The social justice/pithy hashtag of the moment poster

Facebook and Twitter are the breeding ground for rumors and bad information. One person gets one side of the story and to prove what a good person they are, they make a pithy hashtag and a post decrying the alleged social justice. Do yourself a favor, don't be that person. It gets old and when all the information comes out, you might look like an idiot. Plus, the outrage du jour movment is SOOOO over.

Just don't.

I have unfollowed a ton of people for this one.



The chain mailer 

No, I do not want to join your game and No, I will not post this (whatever it is) to my page to win a cabin in the woods, a new car, peace and prosperity or special favors from God. These are often just email gathering phishing ploys for the gullible. No, you are not going to get that new RV, cabin in the woods, /pickup truck, Jeep etc. It doesn't exist.

JUST SAY NO.

Sharing is NOT caring.



I had a twitter account when that "service" first started and then didn't use it for years. I was surprised to see that it is the popular way to bully and talk crap about people, so instead of having 2 platforms that kill my day, I deleted that account completely. I am getting better and curating who I see in my Facebook feed and I am super quick to unfollow anyone on Instagram that is overly political or hateful. Life is too short and I don't have time.

One of the things I urge you to think about is the imapct social media has on you moods. Taking control of who you see and how you interact with it is the first step. I have been following some excellent bloggers who are talking about social media and controlling the fall down the rabbit hole.

Culling the list of who you let in your mental space is like curating what art you allow in your home. Sure, velvet Elvis is fine if that is what you are into, but if not, GET IT OUT OF YOUR LIFE.
 You have the power to keep or toss it for something that fits you.

Figure out who is the velvet Elvis in your life and act accordingly.