The "B" word.

Budget.

Yes, the word that brings about visions of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for every meal from here to eternity.

 Lately I have been reading a lot of bloggers that are discussing their struggles and triumph with spending and making a budget. One video that particularly caught my eye was from the vlog "Break the Twitch". Take a look at this one:

One of the things he said that really resonated with me was the part about actually looking at his Amazon.com purchases and realizing that the trips and actual life experiences he was always saying he wanted but couldn't afford, were right there in all those purchases. I took a look at my purchases on Amazon and realized the ugly truth. Having the ability to just mindlessly hit "add to cart", which lead to the "buy now" or even the "buy with one click" has been hitting my wallet pretty damn hard. I want to spend a month in Joshua Tree in 2018 and this one impulse spot has been completely eating my dream, one purchase at a time.

After looking at the reality of just the first 4 months of 2017, I have decided that I will buckle down and be really engaged with my spending. Will impulse purchases happen? Probably. I liken it to dieting. There will be lapses, but the focus for me is to retrain myself. I am not completely sure where I saw this suggestion, but every time I am tempted to hit the BUY NOW button. I will instead put that item on my wish list and then transfer the amount from my checking to my savings account. I am tagging those deposits as "Money not spent on Amazon". At the end of the summer, I will add up how much I almost spent but saved instead and post it here. I will do that with other thwarted impulse purchases and label them accordingly.

In the meantime, check out "Break the Twitch" on YouTube. Lots of great information. Another blogger I love is Cait Flanders . She is actually one of the most influential bloggers that prompted me to take time to examine the money and time I am spending on stuff that really is just fluff. Wander through her web page. She has something for everyone who is looking to take control of their lives and live more intentionally.

There are a lot of mindless things we do that are aimed at pulling our attention from what is in OUR best interest. I am attempting to rescue myself from these negative influences and find a balance. It is increasingly hard in this world where digital is God and everyone is afraid to "miss out" if they do not have their electronic I.V hanging from their hand. I have been attempting to cut that cord and have really noticed "the twitch".

It is interesting that we have become a culture that is so disconnected to each other the more connected we get with "connecting" through our devices. It is robbing us of the ability to form bonds and empathy through actual physical interaction. This is dangerous. We become aware that we can spout off misinformation that is potentially harmful to someone else and then just turn our device off without seeing the pain we have caused. This is dangerous.

 I have cleaned my Facebook feed of people who do this and now I only see a very limited amount of information.I deleted my old Twitter account since it is the worst of the worst for hate and misinformation in short bites. I am primarily focusing on Instagram, which seems to at least have to visual stimulation (keeping in mind that I am only seeing glimpses of the story, not the full life).  Am I missing out? Maybe. Maybe not.

One thing I have noticed is that the outrages and "solidarity" calls come and go so quickly that it keeps drama addicts in a constantly indignant state of anger. Can this even be good for the body? No. Not at all. One huge thing I have noticed is that since I have purged people who constantly get angry about every little thing from my life, both digitally and physically, I have been able to focus more. At one point, I was having multiple panic attacks daily. After removing myself from several people and places that seemed to be where I experienced these episodes, my panic attacks have been nonexistent over the past 6 months. That alone is enough to make me continue to walk away.

I hope your Monday is beautiful.