Things That Matter, Things That Don't.

Copyright Rhonda Davis

The news in America is so full of sensationalism and false truth for the sake of getting attention that I have had to really filter out most of it. Actually more than most of it. Why? Because it is clear that American news is no longer reporting facts. Instead it is spinning facts into a web that may not even turn out to be anything remotely related to the truth once they chew it over and regurgitate it to the public.

Count me out.

If you look at America today, it is deeply polarized and everything is horrible and the world is going to end...if you believe the spin doctors.

I don't.

There is more good than bad in the world. And we really do NOT have to listen to the gossip machine to live as a good person in the world. All it takes is turning off the noise, deciding where you can be of use in your community and getting out there to meet people who may be very different than you. You don't even have to engage in political talk--it is actually much better if you do not. Talk about the weather. Talk about the sky. Talk about kids--yours or theirs--or grandkids or no kids. Talk about the place you live, your gardens, your homes, your neighborhoods. Talk about coffe. Talk about art. Talk about fishing or not fishing. Talk about  anything.

Just talk.

And listen. Really listen. Not to sway or bolster your views, but to learn what the other person feels.

Because it is in talking face to face that we combat the horrible chasm that the news is creating in America. By talking and even just being out there, we discover there is a lot more good to be had in the world than there is bad.

And we discover that for all of the supposed facts the media is spewing, they know nothing.
We have the power to see and be the good, even in the face of the gossip machine.

Tune it out, ignore it. Trust me, you won't miss it and you will be much richer and more at peace because of the absence of their noise.

The "B" word.

Budget.

Yes, the word that brings about visions of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for every meal from here to eternity.

 Lately I have been reading a lot of bloggers that are discussing their struggles and triumph with spending and making a budget. One video that particularly caught my eye was from the vlog "Break the Twitch". Take a look at this one:

One of the things he said that really resonated with me was the part about actually looking at his Amazon.com purchases and realizing that the trips and actual life experiences he was always saying he wanted but couldn't afford, were right there in all those purchases. I took a look at my purchases on Amazon and realized the ugly truth. Having the ability to just mindlessly hit "add to cart", which lead to the "buy now" or even the "buy with one click" has been hitting my wallet pretty damn hard. I want to spend a month in Joshua Tree in 2018 and this one impulse spot has been completely eating my dream, one purchase at a time.

After looking at the reality of just the first 4 months of 2017, I have decided that I will buckle down and be really engaged with my spending. Will impulse purchases happen? Probably. I liken it to dieting. There will be lapses, but the focus for me is to retrain myself. I am not completely sure where I saw this suggestion, but every time I am tempted to hit the BUY NOW button. I will instead put that item on my wish list and then transfer the amount from my checking to my savings account. I am tagging those deposits as "Money not spent on Amazon". At the end of the summer, I will add up how much I almost spent but saved instead and post it here. I will do that with other thwarted impulse purchases and label them accordingly.

In the meantime, check out "Break the Twitch" on YouTube. Lots of great information. Another blogger I love is Cait Flanders . She is actually one of the most influential bloggers that prompted me to take time to examine the money and time I am spending on stuff that really is just fluff. Wander through her web page. She has something for everyone who is looking to take control of their lives and live more intentionally.

There are a lot of mindless things we do that are aimed at pulling our attention from what is in OUR best interest. I am attempting to rescue myself from these negative influences and find a balance. It is increasingly hard in this world where digital is God and everyone is afraid to "miss out" if they do not have their electronic I.V hanging from their hand. I have been attempting to cut that cord and have really noticed "the twitch".

It is interesting that we have become a culture that is so disconnected to each other the more connected we get with "connecting" through our devices. It is robbing us of the ability to form bonds and empathy through actual physical interaction. This is dangerous. We become aware that we can spout off misinformation that is potentially harmful to someone else and then just turn our device off without seeing the pain we have caused. This is dangerous.

 I have cleaned my Facebook feed of people who do this and now I only see a very limited amount of information.I deleted my old Twitter account since it is the worst of the worst for hate and misinformation in short bites. I am primarily focusing on Instagram, which seems to at least have to visual stimulation (keeping in mind that I am only seeing glimpses of the story, not the full life).  Am I missing out? Maybe. Maybe not.

One thing I have noticed is that the outrages and "solidarity" calls come and go so quickly that it keeps drama addicts in a constantly indignant state of anger. Can this even be good for the body? No. Not at all. One huge thing I have noticed is that since I have purged people who constantly get angry about every little thing from my life, both digitally and physically, I have been able to focus more. At one point, I was having multiple panic attacks daily. After removing myself from several people and places that seemed to be where I experienced these episodes, my panic attacks have been nonexistent over the past 6 months. That alone is enough to make me continue to walk away.

I hope your Monday is beautiful.

Flint Hills copyright Rhonda Davis

Just Noise

copyright Rhonda Davis

Ever think about how you sometimes sit down at the computer or pop into your smartphone with the intention of just "checking in" for a few minutes and before you know it, an hour or more has passed with just mindless scrolling? Or worse yet, you pop into Facebook to catch up on everyone and end up stressed, angry and irritated? I have been increasingly sensitive to the fact that the emotional buttons getting pressed in my world lately are not particularly positive. Sure, there are cute dog and kid pics/videos being shared, along with some genuinely interesting information, but lately it seems as though Facebook is getting meaner.

Because of this, I have decided it is time to scale back or cut out the people and things that constantly trigger my negative moods. These tend to fall into a couple categories:

The constant whiner/complainer

Everyone has really shitty days when they just cannot deal with it. Facebook is great for venting and getting moral support in these cases. However, if someone whines or complains for 10 out of 20 posts, I start getting weary. I have noticed that just like physically being around someone who complains is the same as being around someone like that online. It drags me down. One of the things I have done is track the posts of people who are like Eyor in Winnie the Pooh. I get it, life is rough, and your life is the roughest. But if you constantly complain or whine, I have to unfollow you for my own peace of mind.

We become like the people we spend the most time with. This includes online.

I have discovered that it is easier to unfollow than it is to unfriend. People freak out when you unfriend them. There are a couple people who have exhibited behavior that irritates me enough that I am not feeling guilty about hitting the "unfriend" button, but those are rare cases. Sorry, not sorry. My need for peace is greater than letting someone constantly grate on my nerves.

The social justice/pithy hashtag of the moment poster

Facebook and Twitter are the breeding ground for rumors and bad information. One person gets one side of the story and to prove what a good person they are, they make a pithy hashtag and a post decrying the alleged social justice. Do yourself a favor, don't be that person. It gets old and when all the information comes out, you might look like an idiot. Plus, the outrage du jour movment is SOOOO over.

Just don't.

I have unfollowed a ton of people for this one.



The chain mailer 

No, I do not want to join your game and No, I will not post this (whatever it is) to my page to win a cabin in the woods, a new car, peace and prosperity or special favors from God. These are often just email gathering phishing ploys for the gullible. No, you are not going to get that new RV, cabin in the woods, /pickup truck, Jeep etc. It doesn't exist.

JUST SAY NO.

Sharing is NOT caring.



I had a twitter account when that "service" first started and then didn't use it for years. I was surprised to see that it is the popular way to bully and talk crap about people, so instead of having 2 platforms that kill my day, I deleted that account completely. I am getting better and curating who I see in my Facebook feed and I am super quick to unfollow anyone on Instagram that is overly political or hateful. Life is too short and I don't have time.

One of the things I urge you to think about is the imapct social media has on you moods. Taking control of who you see and how you interact with it is the first step. I have been following some excellent bloggers who are talking about social media and controlling the fall down the rabbit hole.

Culling the list of who you let in your mental space is like curating what art you allow in your home. Sure, velvet Elvis is fine if that is what you are into, but if not, GET IT OUT OF YOUR LIFE.
 You have the power to keep or toss it for something that fits you.

Figure out who is the velvet Elvis in your life and act accordingly.